Tuesday December 3, 2019 Heart

(The Lord says,) “Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.”  Return to the Lord your God, for He is merciful and compassionate, slow to anger and filled with unfailing love.  He is eager to relent and not punish.  Joel 2:13

This verse seemed like the most appropriate one to begin writing my reflections once again.  Gary’s heart was literally torn and the road back has required so much love, mercy and grace.  We both have grown closer to God and one another realizing how truly loved we are by God and by our family and friends.  God is always forgiving and welcoming His people back home.  No one can out sin His grace.  It often takes a rude awakening for us to come to this place of realization. 

It is crucial to get to stand before His throne with all our pride and confidence that we can do it all by ourselves…  stripped away and laying in a puddle around us.  Only then do any of us get to know the meaning of His strength in our weakness.  The road is littered with many who have fallen unable to continue but unwilling to admit their need of God’s strength.  That is the ultimate sin because God stands ready to help each of us, all we have to do is ask. 

Even after 43 days in the hospital, Gary and I still can forget that God is in charge.  Has your own heart been broken and still you resist God’s loving kindness?  This advent is the perfect time to awaken to His presence.  Invite Him to fill the gaps and mend the tears.  He can and will do so.  Healing only happens when the dead is cleared away.  Confess your sinfulness, willfulness and invite in Jesus the babe born in humble surroundings to teach us the true meaning of God’s love is weakness! 

Lord, create in me a new heart.  One that has been emptied of sin and selfishness.  Let my heart beat for You! 

Friday, April 5, 2024, Awake

Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. Psalm 57:8

In 2009, after attending a Charismatic Conference in Miami with two sisters in Christ, I committed to writing scripture reflections, which I lovingly called Awakening to Scripture. They encouraged me, as did my husband, to share them with others, and you are reading the result of that commitment fifteen years later.   Life has interfered with my plans, and I have often been interrupted. But I still read scripture daily. I have not written my thoughts daily, but I continue to be amazed at God’s opening my mind and heart to His will. I am grateful for you, my dear reader. 

To be awake is such a great call to those of us who are seeking the Lord. We cannot see Him or His will for us in our dreams. We must seek Him with our eyes open and our minds alert. The devil sits eagerly alongside us, waiting for a lapse or a lull in our consciousness. It is easy to fall into our comfort zones and allow ourselves to drift along. But, when we are awake and tuned in to what is happening, we can choose rightly and surrender ourselves to God’s holy will. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, but when we step confidently and awake in our love of the Lord, we can handle what comes our way.

One of the ways that I write is by sitting for guidance. I read my morning scriptures and then ask God what He has to say to me. I listen and then start writing down what I hear Him say to me or what I listen to Him saying for me. Some of my most blessed insights have come from this practice, and I write all these reflections in this manner. I invite you to try this method of seeking God’s will. 

Lord, Awaken in me Your will and give me the power and commitment to live in Your love always. I am weak and unaware of what is best for me. Instruct me and open my mind as I sit at Your feet. Allow the power and beauty of Your holy word to enlighten me.

Holy Thursday, March 28, 2024, Command

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

I dug a bit to discover where the term, Maundy Thursday originated. The word command has its root in Latin, mandatum. Royalty in the United Kingdom from around the 13^th century began helping people experiencing poverty on Holy Thursday because of this scripture verse. The command was to love one another, and they responded this way. Serving people in need demonstrates love in a deep and meaningful way. 

Jesus, at the Last Supper, took the role of a servant and then used His example to instruct the Apostles to do the same. Jesus commands us to do the same. Nothing Jesus did was easy. He had no rest from the constant barrage of people asking for something from Him.  Feed us, heal us, fix our problems, mend our brokenness. And then, right before He was betrayed and abandoned by His best friends, He said to LOVE ONE ANOTHER! His care, encouragement, and constant faith said He knew they could be better, different, and enough.  

Jesus, the ultimate Servant Leader, demonstrated how His followers should act. He taught through His actions how they should live their lives. Out of His mercy, we are freed from sin and given the keys to the eternal kingdom. He paid our admission price. None of us will likely be asked to die to save anyone, but you need to ask yourself what your criteria would be. On Holy Thursday, Jesus asked the Father to let the task fall to another but pledged that God’s will be done. We did not do anything to earn our eternity. Jesus commands that NOW we fulfill His final bequest to LOVE one another.     

Lord, please help me love as You loved. With no expectations, with no exceptions, with no reservations. 

Sunday, March 17, 2024, Falls

Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; But if it dies, it produces much fruit. John 12:24

On March 2, 2024, I tripped on my morning three-mile walk. I could not get up due to the extreme pain. A kind woman driving by, stopped and helped me to my feet after many tries. I stood and called Gary to come and help me. We went directly to the ER. When we arrived, my pulse was 30. I spent eight hours getting X-rays and CT scans, which revealed that I did not break my right hip but severely bruised it and did extensive soft tissue damage. I spent the next week in a narcotics-induced stupor. I visited my Primary Care, and he prescribed more hydrocodone, but I requested some meds that would deal with pain but not mess with my head. Yesterday, I finally attended Mass using my walker. I am still taking over 3000mg of ibuprofen and liberally applying arnica oil, Deep Blue, and spending a lot of time in my recliner, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

This fall has been a dying and a surrender for me. I had started Lent with my usual focus on what I would do for God. He instead wanted to teach me about SURRENDER! He leads me to come to every moment and say, “This is Your will for me, RIGHT now.”  I am learning to be present in my situation, responding to the pain, or lack thereof. “NOT, my will be done, but Yours, Father!” is what Jesus prayed in the garden. He knew what lay ahead and still accepted and obeyed. It has been an enormous lesson for me, and I hope I never lose the realization I have now. 

Asking why is a very typical human reaction to any circumstance. I have questioned God on so many things in my life. But this Lent and this healing time have helped me realize that God is in control and will turn every situation into an opportunity to bring about good, even from what appears to be a tragedy. This painful episode was not tragic but a rapid lesson in my limitations. None of us can prevent ourselves from experiencing anything! We don’t make our lungs work, the start of a storm, our hair grow, or yeast to raise bread. God’s perfect will motivates and determines what happens in and around us. Our ability to accept His will and act accordingly sets us on the road to Him like nothing else. 

Lord, I humbly thank You for loving me so much that You sent Your Son to die for me. Jesus, You set the example of how I need to love, and I acknowledge this today as my duty and privilege. Holy Spirit, You live and move to bring us closer. Please help me seek Your will at every moment!   

Friday, March 1, 2024, Fruit

“Therefore, I say to you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit.”  Matthew 21:43

The Chief Priests and Pharisees knew Jesus was talking to them, and they immediately started plotting how to kill Him.  What is our reaction when we hear these words? Do we think about the fruit we are producing? Do we recognize that our actions might be less than God has designed us to accomplish? This week, the Gospels are hitting us where we live! Each scripture builds a strong case of how we need to live. During Lent, the church gives us so many meaningful ways to look at how we are living. 

During the Vatican Council, writers used strong language, “The Christian who neglects his temporal duties toward his neighbor and even God jeopardizes his eternal salvation.”  When we live as Jesus taught us, we live on earth as we will in heaven, profoundly loving others as we love our Creator. That is the fruit of the spirit God longs for us to produce. Feeding the hungry, visiting the sick, clothing the naked, tending the lonely, and seeing the imprisoned build the kingdom and prepare us for eternity in God’s presence!   This parable of the evil tenants demonstrated how far the church was from God’s design. How can we implement the changes that will make the vineyard the place that God designed it to be? 

Lord, I want to produce good fruit! Please help me move outside myself and see YOU in the people around me who need care and attention. Open my eyes, mind, heart, and spirit to the opportunities You give me daily to be Your loving presence to those around me.    

Thursday, February 29, 2024 Harden

If one of your kinsmen in any community is in need in the land which the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand to him in his need. Deuteronomy 15:7

Today, the Gospel and several of my readings have been about generosity to struggling people. Lazurus lies at the gate of the rich man who ignores his suffering, and in Jeremiah, we are told not to put our trust in human things but to be rooted in God. Last night, my daughter told me she started collecting donations on Venmo and restaurant gift cards from her fellow teachers for a colleague whose wife is seriously ill. They have two small children (3 and 5), and they need the nanny for full days so he can work and visit her in the hospital. With the loss of her income and shared care of the kids, they find themselves in dire straits. When the unexpected becomes a reality, our Christian calling dictates that we open our hearts and pocketbooks.

It is easy to wear blindfolds and tut how unfortunate the situation is, but doing something is the course of action we, as Christians, are called to. I think seeing past the surface and choosing to take action is the command in this verse. Hardening our hearts is stubbornly ignoring what is happening around us. Closing our hands instead of sharing our bounty is something we will answer for on judgment day. God will say you did not clothe, feed, or tend me when you did not do it for the least of your brothers and sisters.

Who needs tending in your neighborhood, church, or workplace? How can you open your heart and your hands to them today? 

Lord, Please open my heart and eyes to see opportunities to help. Give me the faith to act even when I feel I am giving out of my need because I trust that You will deliver me. Jesus, I surrender my circumstances and ask You to use me to help those in need.     

Wednesday, February 28, 2024, Unbelief

Immediately, the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

I used to believe things would be better if we could believe like the saints. But then I read these words written by a saint. “Where is my Faith?  – even deep down right in there is nothing but emptiness and darkness….If there is a God – please forgive me.”  Mother Teresa wrote this in her journal, which became the book Come Be My Light. Her words helped me come to grips with the fact that faith is a daily battle where we must repeatedly ask God to be with us through the shadows and bring our trust into the present.   

The apostles could not cure the possessed boy because of a lack of faith. It was not an easy case by any means, but when Jesus talked to the father and heard him say, “If you can cure my son,” Jesus knew where the problem lay. Doubt creeps into our lives and eats away at all our beliefs. Losing faith in our abilities, those we love, and those we work alongside can be devastating. Losing faith in our God can be even calamitous, so much so that we cannot continue. The father in the story shows what can happen when you believe! Healing, Wholeness, LIFE!

Seeking the Lord in Scripture and becoming close to Him through prayer is a natural way to gain trust, but we can’t generate faith. It is a gift; when we receive it, it must be nurtured and fed like a houseplant. Seek the Lord where He may be found. He is waiting for you and me to come to Him.

Father, I stand humbly before You as I realize my weakness and tiny seed of faith. Please help me to come before you as Your child, trusting everything I am into Your mighty hand. I know that without You, I am nothing.       

Tuesday, February 27, 2024, Sufferings

We also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

We want to ask God WHY when we are deep in a crisis. We want answers, but they never seem to come until much later, if they ever do. Our situations make us feel weak and inadequate, but that is for a reason. When we know we can’t fix it, we turn to God. Even Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane admitted that He could NOT handle what was facing Him and asked God to release Him with the caveat, “Your Will BE DONE!”  Today, when we, too, seemed overwhelmed, we prayed to God for strength and the forbearance to rise to the occasion. When the only place left to go is to our knees, that is where we need to be. 

St. Paul explains to the Romans who were undergoing persecution that through their sufferings, God was building them up and producing spiritual gifts. I am sure that our challenges do the same. I know that I learn patience, hope, perseverance, and humility when I struggle. No matter how much I hate going through the painful situation, when I look back, I see God beside me every step of the way. I can’t say I am to the point of glorying in my suffering, but I know that it makes me a better person. 

Lord, Help me to seek You when I am overwhelmed by my circumstances. Help me always choose the high road and allow You to teach me Your ways, which are always better than mine. Open my mind, heart, and soul to Your grace. 

Sunday, February 25, 2024, Listen

“This is my Beloved Son. Listen to Him!” Mark 9:7

Listening happens on so many levels. We can hear something but never take it into our heads and hearts.  I know I am not the only one who has nodded and smiled when their spouse or kids were telling a story I was not interested in hearing, only to later realize that what they said was IMPORTANT!  

Jesus was on the mountain with three disciples, and GOD said, Listen to Him.  You might think they would pay attention to anything Jesus said, but that is untrue.  Jesus had told them that he would have to suffer and die many times, but Peter, His right-hand man, argues that indeed that should not happen.  It’s scary to think that the disciples had been with Jesus for three years and still did not get it.  

But what about us?  Do we listen and take in what Jesus is telling us?  Do we hear Him say: My Father and I love you; Love one another as I have loved you; or This is my body, given up for you!  He promises salvation through His dying and resurrection, but we must listen and heed His voice.  Jesus invites us to take up our cross and follow Him.  Are we listening?  

Dearest Jesus, please help me hear Your words and take them into my heart.  When I genuinely listen to You, I will know the path to be with You forever in paradise.  

Saturday, February 24, 2024, Enemies

I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father.   Matthew 4:44-45

It is hard to accept this as a directive from God.  Bible studies of the Old Testament, with all the conquering of enemies and the law of an eye for an eye, reveal why the early Christians must have been blown away to hear this from Jesus.  We love our friends and hate our enemies, which is how our modern culture has conditioned us to be.  I wonder what would have happened if a priest in NYC had started Mass on the Sunday after 9/11 with a prayer for Osama Ben Laden.  I hate to say it, but his congregation and the media would have lynched him.   

If we are honest with ourselves, we read this and think God can’t mean we have to love our political rivals, the murderers and rapists, or the people who make my skin crawl.  There must be an exception to this rule.  But Jesus did not say to love everyone BUT him or her.  He died for everyone while each was still a sinner.  That is contrary to what we think, but if He had not, we would not have this discussion.  I ask you, Who are YOUR enemies?  Who do you need to love despite, not because of?  

I have been praying daily this Lent about forgiveness.  I am searching out those who I need to forgive.  NOT for their sake but for mine.  That is the beginning of loving our enemies and those who persecute us.  It is not possible to love someone who you can’t forgive!  It could be a friend, spouse, child, or even yourself who you need to forgive, but LOVE can’t happen in a vacuum and certainly can’t manifest where anger festers.

Lord, please help me love those I can’t understand with different morals, attitudes, and beliefs.  You want me to love everyone, which means to will the good for them.  Teach me to see everyone as your beloved brother and sister.  

Friday, February 23, 2024, Comfort

Just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:5

There are many times when God offers us comfort amid our journey to live with Him.   Like Jesus, we are travelers here on a pilgrimage to heaven, and many situations are painful because we are lost and alone in a foreign territory. In addition to the regular struggles, we may have to deal with tragedy, illness, the death of a loved one, loneliness, or poverty. God is constant in His care amidst our sufferings. It might not seem like He is there with us, but I believe He is a whispered word away. 

So, often, people don’t ask God for help but expect Him to know they need it. He knows, BUT like any loving presence in our lives, He wants to connect with us deeply. That takes us reaching out, articulating our situation, and asking for His solution and solace. God is a mind reader, but prayer and our self-revelation open us up to His love and care and prepare our hearts to receive it. Unlike people in our lives who need us to communicate for their understanding when we choose to open ourselves to God, we are the ones who benefit from a greater sense of our neediness. He longs to comfort you and me, and when we seek Him, He comforts us into our souls.     

We do not know what lies ahead. We trust God to lead us in the direction we need to reach heaven’s gate. At every moment, He stands ready to lead and guide us, a constant comfort to the sojourner. We can always count on the Lord to bless us in our abundant suffering.   

Father, I struggle on the journey and need Your care. I love to crawl into Your lap and feel Your comforting arms surround me. Thank You for Your constant care and protection as I journey to be with You forever in paradise.